Your Lying Eyes

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19 October 2005

Now THIS is Why I Vote Republican!

The House has passed a bill banning obesity-related lawsuits against restaurants and food manufacturers. That's my boys! As a frequent sampler of Big Macs, Whoppers, and Castles (not to mention the all-too-infrequent pilgrimages to the Mecca of fast food, Jack in the Box, for the Holy Grail of fast food, the Breakfast Jack - yeah, yeah, I know the Holy Grail isn't in Mecca) and who now has major arterosclerosis issues, I can authoritatively state that my problems are my own doing and not the besieged purveyors of these scrumptuous comestibles - and so it should be with everyone else.
“We should not encourage lawsuits that blame others for our own choices and could bankrupt an entire industry,” notes Rep. Lamar Smith, R-Texas. And Bully for him! Of course the linked article has some seriously silly comments - and this from Fox News!:
Still, there is little evidence that obesity lawsuits are threatening the food and restaurant industry. Only a handful of cases blaming restaurant food or advertising for obesity have ever been filed, and only one major case remains open.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? You can't stave off a problem before it runs rampant?
Critics charged that courts have already functioned properly by dismissing obesity cases they found frivolous and that the bill was giving special rights to restaurants and food manufacturers.
Why operate so inefficienly and uncertainly? Why not just declare them all to be by definition frivolous and put an end to it here and now? So three cheers for the House Republicans (not that the weasely Senate Republicans are ever going to act on it).

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh great, this means my suit against Burger King goes down the crapper. But hey, the other one against Coca Cola for causing all my teeth to rot is still alive and kicking!

October 19, 2005 10:28 PM  
Blogger Dennis Dale said...

The only problem I have with your post is in your culinary (loosely, loosely we use the word) tastes. Jack in the Box? Jack in the Crack was our derisive moniker for same back when I was, ahem, younger and it was the first place to employ that underappreciated American innovation, the drive-through (you would pull up to a garish and scary looking clown with an obtrusive speaker planted where his mouth should have been, like the mouth on an inflatable sex doll). The flattened, saturated with grease, and filled with unnaturally colored beef tacos they served had to be the product of intense research on just what particular taste and composition of food appeals to young people on the tail end of a night of binge drinking. Oh man am I feeling nostalgic.

October 20, 2005 12:18 AM  
Blogger ziel said...

Dennis, yes, the late night Jack stories are legion! Jack in the Box pulled up stakes in the East a number of years ago so I only get to sample it when I travel out west. My favorite was always the Breakfast Jack but I also enjoy the tacos which you so lovingly described. Your identification of its appeal is right on target, but why should only "young people" get to fully experience the tail end of a night of binge drinking?

October 20, 2005 3:59 AM  
Blogger Dennis Dale said...

Well the short answer is that the young have stronger constitutions. But since the short answer is often insufficient, let's use a war analogy (because war analogies are as American as, well, fast food). The night of binge drinking is the aerial assault leading up to the ground invasion. Molecular inebriants fly into the synaptic battle zone in search of key command and control centers. The prefrontal cortex is like central Iraq as these hotshot chemical commandos lay waste to the loci of better judgement, rule following behavior, modesty, etc. In outlying regions huge armaments are spent in efforts to uncover the sub-conscious and free hordes of repressed desires who then run amok, mounting their own underground resistance. But in the young these tactics can only be partially effective. The command and control centers are smaller and weaker to begin with. The still growing physical structure renders maps and navigation instruments altogether useless at points. Pilots weaving through anti aircraft fire scream into their headsets at their navigators, "Where the hell is Abstract Thought, damn you?! So the air war is, at best, of limited efficacy. But that's just the start of it. The gastric defenses of the young are state of the art, just off the assembly line, shiny, new and capable of withstanding a nuclear blast. The ground invasion never really has a chance. The older person, on the other hand, well, think of France. The middle aged belly is forever talking about detente, multilateralism, statecraft. He has mounted many a campaign and, weary of war, recognizes that discretion is the better part of valor.

October 20, 2005 4:09 PM  
Blogger ziel said...

Well, yes, I suppose that's true...I guess I never really actually quite thought of it that way before...

October 20, 2005 7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Having engaged on occasion in late night (or all night) binge drinking, I can say without a doubt that the J' Box is the place to go. Not only are the tacos disgustingly delicious, cool stuff happens there. I think the Blogmeister might have been there once when we saw a guy run down a chick in the parking lot (then we had to figure out how to quietly leave as the cops arrived and were seeking witnesses, which we felt would be to our personal detriment, given our condition. J'Box was also a favorite to bring back to our private drinking & debatingclubhouse, as long as no one (Jack!) stole what wasn't theirs.
Too bad the Repulicans don't have big enough balls to take the same action regarding tobacco law suits.
I'm surprised we haven't seen similar law suits against Jack Daniels, Dunkin Donuts and those heartless bastards who invented bacon!

October 21, 2005 6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not a health Nazi, but it does amaze me how much s--t Americans consume. We inhale more preservatives and artificial crap than any other nation. IS THAT WHY WE CALL OUR COUNTRY THE GREATEST NATION IN THE WORLD? Just because it's manufactured does not mean it needs to be bought and eaten. Where's the self control folks? Egg whites anyone?

October 26, 2005 9:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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November 04, 2005 9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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November 05, 2005 1:33 PM  

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