Your Lying Eyes

Dedicated to uncovering the truth that stands naked before your lying eyes.

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13 August 2013

The Perfect NY Times Op-Ed Opening

Every Times op-ed could start this way, regardless of topic - what could be more, well, NYTimesy:
My husband and I are about the same age and build, wear the same clothes and share the same gender...
You could then complete the sentence as the topic requires - the possibilities are endless. This one was about stop-and-frisk, so it introduced even a more delicious twist: "...but I am far more likely to be stopped by the police. This isn’t because I have a criminal record or engage in furtive movements. Nor is my husband a choirboy. Statistically speaking, it’s because I’m black and he’s white." That's pure NYTimes gold there - what would be the greatest abomination imaginable in the old South than a same-sex, bi-racial couple? And what makes life more satisfying than rubbing those old loser's noses in it? It never gets old.

And speaking of crime and punishment, I predict Eric Holder's new policy of avoiding mandatory sentences won't have much of an impact on the Federal prison population. I seriously doubt federal prosecutors are currently wasting time prosecuting hapless, small-time drug-dealers. Anyone getting prosecuted is either getting a plea-down or is a really bad actor for whom selling drugs is the only crime prosecutable due to lack of evidence for his more serious crimes. Sure, there are no doubt a relative handful of tragic cases where some bit player gets caught in a major case and goes to jail for 10 years for delivering a package. But is that really that common?


Anonymous DJF said...

“”””share the same gender...”””””

And in the bizarre world of the NYT having the same gender does not mean the same sex. In their world you can identify male one day, female the next, and either no gender or a mixed gender the next day.

August 13, 2013 7:09 AM  
Blogger ziel said...

That is true - excellent point. Who am I to jump to unfounded conclusions - it may not be a "same-sex" relationship, literally speaking, at all. My bad.

August 13, 2013 8:06 AM  
Blogger gcochran said...

And I bet you're assuming that they're members of the same species. In fact, could be well be a cat and dog living together.

August 24, 2013 11:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lord awmighty how true, so very true.


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